Wish our products will be helpful for your business

I receive an awful lot of spam emails, most of which I never even glance at. I know I haven't won a zillion dollars in a lottery I never entered, I don't have wealthy relatives, I don't need a fake Rolex watch, or cheap pharmaceuticals and my private parts are just fine as they are thanks. My email filtering spam system keeps anything related to these, and many other subjects out of my inbox, relegated to the bin.

But every so often one slips through. Below is a copy of a recent email that foiled the system. It's not offensive, but it is not really relevant to a financial planning firm and doesn't really portray the image I'm sure "Alice's" boss wants to portray. I think its hilarious, largely because I've got a mental picture of the sender, a short fat Chinese man, sitting at his desk poring through his Chines top English dictionary trying to translate his message into English and feeling quite happy with the result. He should have got one of his children to do it! I feel sorry for Alice, it's not easy preparing marketing it in your own language!

If you are intending marketing by email in China (or any other country for that matter) and don't speak the language fluently, you might like to remember the following before you hit send.

Unsolicited email received on 18 September 2012.

Dear Purchasing Manager,