Top 50 Jokes of All Time
20. I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up for a date but she'd popped her clogs.
19. I rang up BT. I said: "I want to report a nuisance caller." He said: "Not you again."
18. "My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We'll see about that."
17. When Susan's boyfriend proposed, she said: "I love the simple things in life but I don't want one of them for my husband."
16. I went to buy camouflage trousers but I couldn't find any.
15. Two fish in a tank. One says: "How do you drive this thing?"
14. A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One goes to a family in Egypt and is named Amal. The other goes to Spain and is named Juan. Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving it, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal. Her husband said: "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."
13. I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah. I thought: "He's trying to pull a fast one."
12. My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well, I was amazed. I never knew they worked.
11. Went to the doctors and said: "Have you got anything for wind?" He gave me a kite.
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