Bets lengthen putts and shorten drives.

Confidence evaporates in the presence of fairway water.

It takes considerable pressure to make a penalty stroke adhere to a scorecard.

The statute of limitation on forgotten strokes is two holes.

It's not a gimme if you're still away.

The more your opponent quotes the rules, the greater the certainty that he cheats.

Always limp with the same leg for the whole round.

The rake is always in the other bunker.

Nothing straightens out a nasty slice quicker than a sharp dogleg to the right.

The ball always lands where the pin was yesterday.

It always takes at least five holes to notice that a club is missing.

Every time a golfer makes a birdie, he must subsequently make two triple bogeys to restore the fundamental equilibrium of the universe.

If you seem to be hitting your shots straight on the driving range, it's probably because you're not aiming at anything.

You can hit a 2-acre fairway 10 percent of the time and a 2 inch branch 90% of the time.

No matter how far its shaft extends, a ball retriever is always a foot too short to reach the ball.

Your straightest iron shot of the day will be exactly one club short.