Top 50 Jokes of All Time
30. I'm in a great mood tonight because the other day I entered a competition and I won a year's supply of Marmite - one jar.
29. I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode. I said: "Are you two an item?"
28. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their tournament victories. After an hour, the manager came out and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked. "Because," he said, "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
27. Went to the paper shop - it had blown away.
26. I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day. Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.
25. I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow. I rang her up and said: "Did you get my drift?"
24. A sandwich walks into a bar. The barman says: "Sorry, we don't serve food in here."
23. A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar. The barman says: "Is this some kind of joke?"
22. Slept like a log last night. Woke up in the fireplace.
21. A jumplead walks into a bar. The barman says: "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."
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