Top 50 Jokes of All Time

50. I went to the doctors the other day and he said: "Go to Bournemouth, it's great for flu." So I went - and I got it.

49. A seal walks into a club...

48. Went to the corner shop - bought four corners.

47. So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants. It was Wedgie Kray.

46. I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything - trying to pack myself in a small suitcase. I can hardly contain myself.

45. I tried water polo but my horse drowned.

44. A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He sidles up to the bar and says: "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."

43. You see my next-door neighbour worships exhaust pipes, he's a Catholic converter.

42. I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags. He's bisatchel.

41. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank, proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.